A year ago this weekend, Dustin and I moved into our current home. Three short weeks later, we found out that I was three weeks pregnant. After the initial shock wore off, my very first emotion was pure joy. Even though this was unexpected, it was still a miracle and it took me no time to get excited about this precious blessing!
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| We love you so much, Xavier :) |
After the pure joy stuff, reality set in and I knew that Bean was going to have to go to daycare at a very young age. With Dustin still in Chiro school, my income was an absolute necessity. Teachers in Florida do not get paid maternity leave and are allotted 6 weeks leave. So when I found out my due date was June 1st, I was immediately relieved and knew that this was another way of God telling me that this was our time to become parents. I say this because Dustin and I already budget for no salary in the summer so we would be fine. Because I was due at the very end of the year, I wouldn't have to take time off during the school year when I COULD make money. Also, since I get 10 weeks off for summer, this gave me an extra 4 weeks more than maternity leave. God works in mysterious ways :)
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| :) |
Anyway...my whole life, I have known that I was meant to be a mommy. I knew from a very young age that I didn't want to be a mommy until that was all I had to be. I didn't want to be a teacher AND a mommy, but it has worked out that way and I seem to juggling both with at least a little grace. Because I knew staying home with Xavier was not an option (at least right now), I started asking my co-workers about child care immediately. A few friends gave me names of home care and daycare facilities. I checked out several and visited a few before deciding on Miss Suzie. From the moment we met her, we knew that she would be perfect.
Miss Suzie works out of her sister's home. She takes care of 6 little ones with the help of her sister, Isabella. I chose this setting opposed to the daycare setting because I believe home care to be much more genuine than the daycares that I researched. Also, I liked that they only accepted a few children. (Note: I have nothing personal against daycares...I simply felt that home care better fit our needs!)
The first time Dustin and I met her, Xavier was 17 days old. We took him to meet her and to check out her home. It was beautiful, tidy and very welcoming. I arrived feeling dread and left feeling reassured. She was kind and quiet. I remember vividly that we walked in and Beanie was in his carseat. His head was slouched to the side and she reached for him and lifted his little head before even speaking to us. I LOVED this! It made such an impression on me. I'm sure it sounds weird but in that moment, I knew that she would take good care of the most precious baby in the world :)
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| 17 day old Bean :) |
Fast forward 10 weeks. Not just any 10 weeks. The most memorable and important 10 weeks of my life. Of our lives. Dustin and I have never been this happy...it's amazing how you can't imagine your life without this tiny little thing and yet, you've only know him for 12 short weeks. It was time for me to face the fact that he was starting home care.
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| Blondes :) |
We spent the weekend in the usual ways. Dining out, shopping a bit, and spending time together at home. It was just like any other weekend except that I was filled with dread. Beanie was going to daycare and the thoughts consumed me. Monday night (this was Labor day weekend) rolled around and it was soon time for bed. Dustin and I packed ourselves and Beanie for the next day. We typed up a quick blurb about Beanie's schedule and other important information. Soon we were off to bed. For a few hours I laid there...miserable. Finally my exhaustion set in and I fell asleep. The next thing I knew, it was 530AM and the alarm was going off. Again, I was filled with dread.
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| Let's Go! |
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| Love you |
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| Dress up at the mall :) |
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| Car ride! |
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| Dinner! |
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| :) |
The morning went quickly (I sobbed while getting dressed) and before I knew it, Dust had put Beanie in his carseat and we were off. We dropped Dust of at school and headed for Tampa, just the Bean and me.
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| The flash was a little bright... |
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| So he kept squinting... |
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| Mama stop! |
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| Ready to go! |
When I pulled into Isabella's driveway, I could feel the tears coming. I got Beanie out along with his packed bag and was crying before I even rang the doorbell. They greeted me with hugs and "he will be fine!" I went through the blurb Dustin and I had written as well as a few other notes I had jotted down. I kissed him goodbye (all while crying) and left. IT WAS AWFUL!
When I got into my car, I called my mom. She talked to me while I drove to school and tried to calm me down. It didn't work. When I got to school, several of my friends knew that today was THE day. They hugged and soothed me and it got a little better. By the time I got to my classroom, I pulled myself together and looked at my phone. Suzie had sent me a text. It said "He is doing very good! He is sleeping :)" It was so nice of her to text me and it made me feel better. A few moments later, I looked down and she had sent me a picture of him sleeping soundly in his packnplay! In that moment, I knew we had made the right decision, once again, and was so thankful for Suzie and Isabella.
The day went on like any other day. I had a great time with my kiddos and they kept my mind of of baby for the most part. Each time I checked my phone, I had a new text or picture from Suzie and it made the day so much easier.
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| Pics from Miss Suzie :) |
At the end of the day, I had a faculty meeting. Of course, it lasted FOREVER, and as soon as it was over, I rushed to my car and sped to Xavier.
When I arrived, Suzie led me right to him...
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| Beanie in the girly swing!!! |
He looked SO cute in that pink little swing. Words cannot express the happiness I felt when I scooped him up and squeeze him!
On the way home, we stopped by daddy's school and brought him coffee. He had an hour break so we hung out with him for a while. He was so happy to see Beanie too and held him the whole time :)
When we got home, we snuggled until Beanie fell asleep!
It was such a difficult day but we are so grateful for Suzie and Isabella. Hopefully tomorrow isn't quite so hard :)
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