Prayer

A few weeks ago, I was putting Xavier to sleep for the night and we did all of our usual things: put on comfy jammies, line up his stuffed animals, snuggle under the covers, and say our nightly prayer. The prayer we say together is this:

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep,
If I should die before I wake,
I pray the Lord my soul to take.
Dear Jesus, Bless Mommy, Daddy, Xavier, Penelope, Luke, Midnight and the Fishies
Amen.

We have said this exact same words every night for 2 years. Even though we talk about Penelope in our home freely and have pictures of her on our walls, we rarely speak directly to X about her and when we have, he has not seemed to really grasp the concept.

On this particular night, however, he completely caught me off guard when he asked "Mama, where is Penelope? What does she look like?"

I could feel the tears rise instantly. I tried to keep my voice from shuddering when I answered "Don't you remember? She looked just like you and Lukey! She is in heaven with Jesus and we will see her again some day!" He immediately lit up and said "I can't wait to go to heaven so I can play with my sister!"

This conversation was wonderful and devastating all at the same time. We miss her so very much and can't wait to hold her again, and play with her, and love on her, and just be with her.

My 3 babies <3