Life is Fleeting- Part 5

On Saturday, September 6th, Dustin and I were heading to bed when the worst happened: I began to spot and cramp. In a panic, I called a friend to come stay with Xavier while Dustin rushed me to the hospital. At just 8 weeks pregnant, I knew that I was still at high risk for a miscarriage and we were both terrified.

We arrived at the ER at 10:30 and I was admitted quickly. After drawing blood, conducting an ultrasound and many other tests, we left the hospital at 2 AM with not much more information than we had at our arrival. The tests were inconclusive. The sonogram showed that the baby was measuring 5 weeks 4 days which was not good considering I was supposedly 8 weeks along. The doctor told us that there were 3 possibilities: 1) the dates were off, the baby was fine and it was just too early to detect a heartbeat 2) the pregnancy had ended in fetal demise a couple weeks prior and had not passed yet and 3) the pregnancy was a blighted ovum which means there was no baby to begin with, just a sac. We were sent home and instructed to follow up with my OB.

We went home defeated, unsure of what was happening. I spent the night tossing and turning and was thankful when it was time to get up Sunday morning. I spent the day with my feet up and the spotting stopped. The cramping stopped. I had such a good day that I convinced myself that everything was ok.

On Monday, I went in to work, needing to keep busy, and called my OB first thing. They scheduled me for an 8AM appointment on Wednesday morning and told me to call asap if any of the symptoms reappeared.

I hadn't been at work for more than 2 hours when the symptoms came back. Of course as fate would have it, I had Open House that evening and had to put on a happy face and give 2 presentations to the 4th grade parents until 8PM. By the time the evening was over, I knew the pregnancy was as well. I had miscarried our precious baby number 3.

When I got home, I collapsed into Dustin who was strong and supportive and so full of love. He assured me that everything would be ok. He is just so amazing.

The next morning I called my doctor's office and told them that I was certain I had miscarried. They told me to come to my appointment as scheduled and that they would be able to give me more information at that time.

Fast forward to Wednesday morning and Dustin and I went in for the sonogram. Even though I knew that I had miscarried, I fell apart when the sonographer confirmed that there was nothing there. The baby was gone.

We met with Dr. Sundstrom before leaving and he felt horrible. After encouraging us to try again, he had not expected this. He assured Dustin and I that this wasn't the end. That we were able to have another baby if we chose. That all hope wasn't lost.

So, if you are reading this, please pray for us. Pray for God's will in our lives. Pray for peace and understanding. Pray for Dustin. Pray for Xavier. Pray for me.

Precious baby number 3, we will see you again some day. We love you. We have yet another treasure to look forward to in heaven.

Baby's First Doctor's Appointment- Part 4

Even though Dustin and I attended many appointments to get to this point, we are considering August 29, 2014 Baby #3's first official appointment.

As I stated earlier, I went to the doctor just 10 days before this appointment and Dr. Harrison had to give me the news that I was not pregnant. Fast forward 10 days, and I just knew as she walked in the room that she was dreading the idea of giving me bad news.

The nurse took my vitals, some blood and then asked me to leave a sample in the restroom. I did so and after just a few minutes I heard Dr. Harrison shriek "It is positive!!!!" A few moments later she barged in the exam room with the good news. We jumped up and down together. She knew how badly I wanted to be pregnant :)

After the happy dance, however, it was serious business and she made sure I knew I needed to get into to see my OBGYN as soon as possible. I was 6 weeks along at this point and an ultrasound would be needed in the near future.

I left happily and that evening Bryan came into town. Dustin and I shared our news with him and then we told Deneen and Clayton.

At this point, our parents and siblings are the only people who know…

BUT WE CAN'T WAIT TO SHARE THE GOOD NEWS WITH THE REST OF OUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS!!!!!!!!! :):):):)

I can't wait to meet you, baby!

Here We Go Again!!- Part 3

I'm pregnant. And so excited I can't stand it. And so terrified I don't know what to do with myself. But, I am pregnant.

It took us 2 months this time around, and here we are. Expecting.

Yesterday, Thursday, August 21, 2014, we found out. But I have to tell the whole story for baby #3 so I need to back up a few weeks. Nearly 8 to be exact.

We decided in June to go for it and in July, were saddened when it wasn't immediate. I was really upset because we weren't even trying when we conceived Bean and when we got pregnant with Penelope, we were not trying super hard either- we were just going with the flow and BAM, it was immediate. Of course with everything we have been through, I immediately jumped to conclusions, convinced something had ruined me. Dustin, however, was his usual calm self, and essentially made me pull myself together, and move on.

I happened to have a doctor's appointment for something completely unrelated the second time around. It was the day that I was supposed to take a test a pregnancy test so I asked my doctor to do so. It was negative and I was heartbroken. I went home, told Dust and moped around for the evening. Sure enough, however, 2 days passed and nothing happened so after school on a Thursday, I ran to Walmart, grabbed some tests, picked up Bean and headed home. The second we got home, I took a test. It was positive. I fell to the floor sobbing and laughing. Xavier probably thought I was losing my mind! But he laughed with me and after making sure my tears were that of joy, joined in and hugged me over and over. :)

A faint positive :)

I immediately texted Dust. I told him that I wanted to meet at his work at 6 when he got off so that we could switch cars. I was going to the gym and he would take Bean home (lie #1). When we arrived, however, I told him change of plans. I no longer felt like working out, my mom had sent a toys'R'us gift card (no she didn't- lie #2) and that I wanted to go get Bean a toy. He jumped in the car thinking nothing of it and we drove across town to the toy store. When we arrived, I cleverly parked in the expecting mother parking space. "Dear, you aren't an expecting mother. Did you see the sign?" I just looked at him and smiled until there were tears. "Seriously?!?!" was all he could muster!

Where I will be parking for the next 8 months :)

"Smile for daddy!

Yay!

Blessed <3 

It was wonderful and we hugged and cried and celebrated with a new toy for bean and dinner out.

Time for a Big Brother Toy :)

:)

Bingo!

He chose a Discovery Channel Safari kit

Check out!

Dinner at Roadhouse

Amazing Daddy

Triple B (Big Brother Bean)

I am so happy I want to shout it from the roof tops…but I know I can't. It's too risky. I am only 5 weeks pregnant right now and I need to keep it to myself for as long as possible.

So, baby #3. This is it. We love you so much already it hurts. We are so excited we can't stand it. We are so terrified we don't know what to do. Except love you :)

Precious Baby #3- Part 2

Today, June 23, 2014, I met with my OBGYN, Dr. Sundstrom, as well as a Maternal Fetal Medicine Specialist, Dr. Humes. We met to discuss baby # 3. The risks, the options, the statistics, everything. I voiced my every concern and they were able to answer with studies and factual information. It took Dustin and I nearly 8 months to get to this point. We have gone back and forth with having another baby but knew that this meeting would help us decide what we wanted.

To summarize, both my OB and the MFMS told us to go for it. The chances of another placenta abruption or any other risks are slim. This was wonderful to hear, but terrifying at the same time. We had made peace with the idea of it just being the three of us. Now a new door was open.

Xavier and I left the appointment and met Dustin at his office. I gave Dustin a quick run down and we decided that we would discuss all of our options and make a final decision at dinner. This might seem rash but we have always wanted two close in age and for us, it was a "now or never" kind of situation.

It was at dinner that we decided that- yes, we want one more baby. We are officially "trying" to get pregnant.

Here we go again :)

X at THE dinner

Let's do this!

Due to Penelope passing away while I was so far along, we have decided to keep this pregnancy to ourselves as long as possible. We hope that when our friends and family find out, they understand that we could not go through what we went through with Penelope again and talk about it with everyone we see. Also, this will protect the ones we love from any pain at the off chance something goes wrong early on.

So, baby #3, this is it. This post won't be published until Mommy is actually pregnant and Mommy and Daddy feel like it is time. But I want you to know that you were loved before you were even conceived. I want to document your journey just as I captured Penelope's journey and continue to capture Xavier's.

June 23, 2014 is the day we decided that the reward far outweighed the risks.

Baby Bledsoe Number 3- Part 1

Like many of the things I write about on this blog, I contemplated sharing this little piece of our history. After going back and forth for a few weeks now, however, I know that in the end I will be happy to have told our story and to have celebrated this little life; to have told the baby's story. Baby number 3.

The following posts were written from June 2014-September 2014 and follow our Baby's journey. We have decided to share that journey.